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My parent is dying

Coping With Grief and Loss

Aging Parents, Family Members, Grief and Loss, Mental Health, , ,

Though we all know death and the loss of loved ones is a reality of getting older, it doesn’t mean that it gets any easier for those grieving a loss. Individuals will cope with grief and loss in different ways and in different timeframes. Offering support during these difficult life changes can help your loved one find their way through the grieving process. Here are ten ways you can help. 

Ten Ways to Help a Loved One Cope with Grief and Loss

by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA – Aging Life Care Association™ Member

Q: My mother had a big change last year. She became a widow and her father passed away within six months of each other. Both were unexpected. Now, she lives with our family. While she has her own living space, I still want her to get back to her life. What are some ways we can help her adapt to her new normal and get on with her life as a single person again?

A. The loss of a spouse, parent, or loved one is never easy, but having both happen in a short time period can be especially challenging. She needs to go through the grieving process while learning to live her life as a single person. Typically after a loss, it is important that the person has time to grieve and not make any significant decisions or changes right away. She has to find her new normal and refocus time and energy on herself.

A good starting place is to determine what her support network is. This may be family, friends, church, and sometimes social groups she is affiliated with. All of these connections will provide a resource for her. It may be someone to talk to, an ear to listen, or opportunities to reconnect with people. You mentioned that she is residing with your family, so it will be important to have some boundaries in place and for everyone in the house to know what those are. You also have an opportunity to monitor for signs that she may be having trouble adjusting or dealing with losses she has experienced. If you have concerns, it may be appropriate to encourage her to speak to a counselor who specializes in grief counseling. As she goes through this process, here are a few things that might help her get back to her life:

1. Create a journal. Write down things of interest, past hobbies and activities. Look for opportunities to reconnect to those activities.

2. Make a list of her support network. Identify people she is comfortable being around during this transition.

3. Update the address book. Get current contact information for other family members and friends.Talk about her short- and long-term goals. A short-term goal might be to get back to an old routine. A long-term goal might be to plan a trip with one of her friends.

4. Talk about her short- and long-term goals. A short-term goal might be to get back to an old routine. A long-term goal might be to plan a trip with one of her friends.

5. Create a calendar of community events and activities that might be of interest. Talk about it weekly and offer to go with her to some of them, until she is comfortable going alone.

6. Consider joining a grief support group. A support group provides an outlet to talk about how she is feeling and to connect to others who may have a similar experience.

7. Create a bucket list. List new things she would like to experience in her life.

8. Explore courses offered through local community colleges or recreation centers. These are often low-cost opportunities for learning.

9. Encourage exercise and a healthy lifestyle. If we feel better on the inside, we are more likely to want to participate in things on the outside.

10. Let her know that it is OK to grieve. Provide encouragement and opportunity, but do not push her to do things too quickly.

Each person experiences loss differently. She has lost a spouse, a father, the home where she lived, her routine, a familiar environment, and her sense of connection to a partner to share life experiences. Encourage her by providing support and opportunities to build this next chapter of her life.

Aging Life Care Professionals™ can help you find the right support services and resources for grief support. Find an expert to work with by visiting aginglifecare.org.

About the author:  Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA is the CEO of Aging Outreach Services in Southern Pines, North Carolina. Amy also serves as the President of the Southeast Chapter of the Aging Life Care Association. She can be reached at amyn@agingoutreachservices.com.

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

Aging Life Care

What is Aging Life Care?

Costs of Aging, Dementia, Elder Law, Financial, Long-Term Care, Mental Health, Uncategorized, ,

Overwhelmed by the choices and decisions involved with caring for an aging loved one? Hit with an emergency and don’t know where to start? Or do you want to  plan for your own senior years and make your own decisions? No matter your individual situation or preferences, Aging Life Care Professionals™ offer a client-centered approach to guide families to actions and decisions that ensure quality of care and optimal life.

What is Aging Life Care?

Aging Life Care™, also known as geriatric care management, is a holistic, client-centered approach to caring for older adults or others facing ongoing health challenges.  Working with families, the expertise of Aging Life Care Professionals provides the answers at a time of uncertainty. Their guidance leads families to the actions and decisions that ensure quality care and an optimal life for those they love, thus reducing worry, stress and time off of work for family caregivers through:

  • Assessment and monitoring
  • Planning and problem-solving
  • Education and advocacy
  • Family caregiver coaching

housing, crisis, advocacy, legal, communication, financial, health and disability

The Experts in Aging Well

The expertise of Aging Life Care Professionals can be summarized into 8 knowledge areas. Let’s take a closer look:

Health and Disability. From physical problems to mental health and dementia-related problems, Aging Life Care™ Managers interact with the health care system effectively and frequently. Aging Life Care Professionals attend doctor appointments and facilitate communication between doctor, client, and family. These professionals help determine types of services – including home health and hospice – that are right for a client and assist in engaging and monitoring those services.

Financial. Services may include reviewing or overseeing bill paying or consulting with a client’s accountant or Power of Attorney. Aging Life Care Professionals provide information on Federal and state entitlements, connecting families to local programs when appropriate. They also help clients and families with insurance concerns, claims, and applications.

Housing. Aging Life Care Professionals help families and clients evaluate and select appropriate level of housing or residential options.

Families. Aging Life Care Professionals help families adjust, cope and problem-solve around long-distance and in-home caregiving, addressing care concerns, internal conflicts and differences of opinion about long-term care planning.

Local Resources. Aging Life Care Professionals know the local resources in their communities like the back of their hands and know how services are accessed.

Advocacy. Aging Life Care Professionals are strong and effective advocates for clients and their families, promoting the client’s wishes with health care and other providers, ensuring that client’s needs are being adequately addressed.

Legal. Aging Life Care Professionals refer to legal experts, like elder law attorneys, estate planners, and Powers of Attorney. Some Aging Life Care Professionals provide expert opinion for courts in determining level of care and establishing client needs.

Crisis Intervention. Aging Life Care Professionals offer crisis intervention when it is needed, helping clients navigate through emergency departments and hospitalizations, rehabilitation stays, and ensuring that adequate care is available to the client. For families that live at a distance, this can be a much-needed 24/7 emergency contact.

A care plan tailored for each individual’s circumstances is prepared after a comprehensive assessment. The plan may be modified, in consultation with client and family, as circumstances change.

The Aging Life Care Professional assists clients in attaining their maximum functional potential.  The individual’s independence is encouraged, while safety and security concerns are also addressed. Aging Life Care Professionals are able to address these broad range of issues in a care plan that is tailored for the individual.  Monitoring by the Aging Life Care Professional ensures that as circumstances change, the care plan is modified to fit the needs and resources.

With expertise in these areas, Aging Life Care Professionals become the “coach” and families or clients the “team captain.” Search for an Aging Life Care Professional near you.

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

help senior citizens get ready for severe winter weather

Top Tips to Help Aging Adults Get Ready for Winter Storms

Aging in Place, Aging Parents, Caregiving, , ,

With winter bearing down on much of the country, severe weather — snow, freezing temperatures, ice,  or heavy rains — greatly impacts the safety and well-being of the elderly. Here are some tips from the experts in aging well, Aging Life Care Association™ to help aging adults get ready for winter weather.

Before a Storm
  • Stay Informed and sign-up for severe weather alerts through your local city or state resource
  • Refill prescriptions and have an extra supply of other medical necessities
  • Buy extra food, including non-perishables, and bottled water (and don’t forget pet food or supplies if needed)
  • Keep vehicles filled with gas and have tires checked for safety
  • Clear debris from downspouts and gutters
  • Have trees inspected and remove any dead limbs
  • Have evacuation routes planned with identified medical centers
  • Identify an individual or company to shovel snow from driveways, stairs
  • Make sure outside furnace vents are clear and carbon monoxide alarms are working
  • Inspect outside plumbing, insulating any exposed pipes
Prepare for Power Outages
  • If using oxygen, bi-pap, c-pap or other equipment, you will need a generator
  • Purchase battery operated, plug-in lights that automatically turn on when the power goes out
  • Make sure you have working flashlights within reach and extra batteries
  • Keep cell phones charging so you have a full charge at power loss
Plan for Caregivers
  • If you rely on caregivers, consider the following:
  • Arrange for a live-in caregiver
  • Build a relationship with neighbors that may be able to temporarily fill-in
  • Plan temporary or respite stay with a nursing home, assisted living community, or hospice
Safety
  • Keep areas around space heaters clear
  • Use space heaters with automatic shut-off
  • Gas stoves or ovens should never be used as a heating source
  • Do not attempt to climb ladders
  • Do not walk on frozen stairs, sidewalks, or driveways

For more winter weather tips and planning, visit the public safety website of Massachusetts – a state very familiar with severe winter weather.

With knowledge of local resources, An Aging Life Care Professional™ can  build an emergency weather plan for your aging loved one. Find one to consult at aginglifecare.org.

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

 

Learn how Aging Life Care Managers are combatting loneliness and social isolation

Who Can Help My Aging Neighbor?

Aging in Place, Aging Life Care Professionals, Aging Parents

Worried about the well-being of your aging neighbor? It doesn’t matter whether you live in a city condominium or in a planned suburban neighborhood, if you have concerns about the safety or health of an aging neighbor an Aging Life Care Professional™ can help.  While this article takes a look at dealing with aging residents living in “co-ops”, the same advice is true for condominiums, apartments, and even homeowners associations (HOA). 

Neighbor to Neighbor: Dealing with the Problems of Aging Residents*

by Susan Birenbaum, MBA, LCSW, C-ASWCM – Aging Life Care Association™ Member

 

What happens when people begin to notice that their aging neighbor next door is having difficulty with mobility, is suddenly at risk of falling or has fallen, is confused about where they are and begin to exhibit this and other types of changed behavior. Maybe it is a husband or wife and the healthier spouse can no longer cope with taking care of the spouse who is disabled or ill.  Contrary to what people think about the tri-state region, people really do care about their neighbors.

Oftentimes people know that these individuals have adult children, who live out of town. Naturally, they care about their elderly parents but they often are not aware of what is happening. The neighbors do not know how to contact them or feel awkward because it is not their business to get involved.  What happens when these neighbors have no children at all or even close relatives?

A Historical Retrospective

Long-time seniors living in cooperatives and condominiums in the Garden State now are the first generation of people who began living independently from their family in any kind of significant numbers. These people are the World War II vets. Their adult children have all probably moved away from the places that they had grown up in. This pattern began after World War II. Prior to World War II, families lived in the same community and took care of aging relatives. They took jobs, married among the community, and raised families there.  Aging relatives were not alone and isolated.

During the 1980’s, many apartment buildings converted from rental properties to co-ops and for the most part, these former renters in their early years became owners and purchased the converted apartments.  They were in their 50s and 60s, healthy and living an active lifestyle.

However, over the years, things changed. The co-op or condo’s oldest residents start to suffer from failing health and become unable to take care of themselves.  These neighbors have gone from being vibrant seniors to those suffering from illnesses such as dementia, Parkinson’s disease, heart problems, vision, and mobility issues and much more.

In addition to failing health, they often feel isolated, living all alone in their apartments, with no one to care for them. Their spouses have died, their children live at a distance, and they have lost the capacity to care for themselves. They may also become prone to hoarding and alcoholism issues.

Who’s at Fault?

Many adult children believe that the building staff is available 24/7 to take care of their ailing or aging parents. If their parents fall, they cannot rely on the staff to pick them up or perform other services. They do not understand that it is actually against union regulations.

The children living out of state, perhaps, speak with their parents regularly but do not visit often. It is not that they are uncaring but they are busy with their life: their work, their children, and other responsibilities.  A simple phone call does not reveal the true state of the parents’ health, mental, and physical well-being or the ability to manage their affairs, both financially and socially. They believe that their parents are the same individuals that they were 10-15 years ago. Living well and managing their lives.

The Board of Directors

Prior to conversions in the 1980s, rental buildings did not have boards of directors. Residents had landlords who were not directly involved in the daily operation of the building as the boards of today are. They generally did not live on site. In contrast, board members are an integral part of any co-op and condo community.

The board of directors are generally aware of the problems inside their buildings and often know the residents there and the people that care for them. However, they  believe strongly that it’s not the board’s responsibility to assume the care and oversight of aging or difficult residents.  And they are absolutely correct. It is not the board’s responsibility to become involved in caring for unwell individuals, despite however good-intentioned they may be. The board, however, does have a responsibility to the shareholders to ensure the financial stability of the corporation and if the individual is unable to pay the maintenance then the board must intervene.

What’s the Board to Do?

The board, under its governing documents, should have a list of emergency contacts for all individuals in the building. If the resident has adult children, close relatives, or other guardians, they should be contacted and advised of the situation.  Likewise, an Aging Life Care Professional™  — also known as a Geriatric Care Manager —  might be brought in to assist them in caring for their parent or relative. A geriatric care manager specializes in managing the care of aging adults when their relatives are at a distance.

An Aging Life Care Professional™ is a health and human services specialist who acts as a guide and advocate for families who are caring for older relatives or disabled adults.  Knowledgeable in any of several fields related to care management, such as nursing, gerontology, social work, or psychology, a geriatric care manager has a specialized focus on issues related to aging and elder care. This professional is able to address a broad range of issues related to the well-being of their elderly or senior client and can help turn a bad situation into a favorable outcome. For more information about Aging Life Care™ or to find an expert in your area, visit aginglifecare.org.

*This article first appeared in the October 2015 issue of The COOPERATOR. 

About the author: Susan Birenbaum is a certified Aging Life Care Manager, a New York State-licensed clinical social worker and an MBA with her own practice, Humanittude, LLC. Follow Susan on Twitter and LinkedIn. 

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

Medication Management for the Elderly

Top Tips for Medication Management for Seniors

Aging in Place, Aging Life Care Professionals, Aging Parents, Aging Well, Caregiving, Family Members

Multiple doctors, multiple medications, multiple pharmacies…all a common reality for many aging adults. But when medications are not managed properly, they can cause more damage than good.  Here are some top tips for medication management for seniors from an Aging Life Care Professional™. 

Proper Medication Management Can Reduce Problems that Plague Seniors

by Bunni Dybnis, MA, MFT, CMC – Aging Life Care Association™ Member and Fellow of the Leadership Academy

 

As people age, they are more likely to deal with one or more health problems.  According to the  Robert Wood Johnson Foundation, nearly three out of four people aged 65 or older have multiple chronic health conditions.  The treatment for many conditions associated with aging such as high blood pressure, depression, and arthritis includes medication. Many older adults also face declining eyesight, grip strength, mobility, and memory issues.  As our bodies change, the way medications work in the body also changes. The implications are frightening.

  • 40% of older individuals both in the community and in nursing homes are using at least one inappropriately prescribed medication. Those being discharged from the hospital is even higher.
  • The number of hospital admissions for those over 45 for medication and drug-related conditions has more than doubled in recent years. (Agency for Healthcare and Research Quality)
  • For those over age 50, 51% of all emergency room visits are due to adverse reactions to medications. (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
  • Nearly one in three hospital admissions and readmissions of the elderly are linked to problems or harmful side effects due to medications. This can include depression, constipation, falls, immobility, confusion, and hip fractures.

There are several ways either a family member, friend or an Aging Life Care Professional™ can reduce or even eliminate medication-related problems.

1. Know what is being taken. Keep an updated list of each medication including both over-the-counter and prescription medications.  To avoid duplication, include why the medication is being taken, who prescribed it, the dose, frequency, any special dosing instructions (with or without food), and noticeable side effects.

2. Have a medication management member of the healthcare team. In addition to attending appointments, make sure either a trusted family member or a professional has permission to call the doctors or hospital to ask questions or express concerns on behalf of the senior.  Due to HIPPA privacy relations, this is essential.  During each visit, especially if there has been a hospitalization or change in medical status, one should ask the following:

  • Are all medications still necessary?
  • Should any medications be changed because they are unsafe due to interactions with other medications?
  • Are the doses appropriate given the person’s age and weight? If a physician is not familiar with prescribing medications specifically to an older population, there are Geriatric Pharmacists that can be hired for consultation.
  • Is there a way to reduce the number of times per day the medication is taken?

3. Read the directions. Read both the inserts in prescription medications as well as the Drug Facts on the side of over-the-counter medications.  Consult a pharmacist if anything is unclear.

4. Provide a system for or assistance in keeping track and monitoring medications. This can include coordinating a daily routine, providing a list of instructions for all medications, placing sticking notes as reminders, or setting up a pill box organizer.  If there are multiple routine medications, ask your pharmacist about “bubble packs”.

3. Set up a reminder system. An alarm either on a clock radio or cell phone, or a call reminder can also make a huge difference.

4. Use technology. Smartphones, text messages or sophisticated medication monitoring systems can be utilized. This is contingent on the older adult being able to access and take proper medications.  A Google search on “medication management” will reveal many “apps” and websites specializing in medication reminders. .

5. Provide assistance to remind and administer medication. A family member, friend, neighbor, or formal caregiver can assist in the purchasing, setup, prompting, or providing of medications for those that aren’t able to do it themselves. However, some caregiver agencies have limitations for the level of medication assistance non-medical caregivers can provide. If you use an agency, ask about their policies.

6. Check for interactions. Because many adults over age 65 are often taking multiple medications, drug interactions are a huge concern.  The Food and Drug Administration has created a list of tips to avoid common drug interactions and AARP has an online tool to type in and check for potential problems.  You should always consult a pharmacist if you have questions.

7. Know what medications to avoid. Cross referencing medications with the American Geriatrics Society (AGS) Beers Criteria for Potentially Inappropriate Medication Use in Older Adults will give you a list of medications that those over age 65 should avoid.

When it comes to caring for an aging loved one, making sure all aspects of medication purchasing and administering are being addressed can help resolve many of the problems associated with aging.  It can be an overwhelming task to the older adult and family alike. Hiring an Aging Life Care Professional™ as part of the team can bring peace of mind to all involved.  Find one at aginglifecare.org.

About the author:  Bunni Dybnis, MA, MFT, CMC  is Director of Professional Services for LivHOME in Los Angeles, CA. Bunni is an Advanced Professional and Fellow of the Leadership Academy of the Aging Life Care Association. 

image source: http://www.freeimageslive.co.uk

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

help aging adults get rid of junk mail

4 Steps to Getting Rid of Junk Mail

Aging Parents, Caregiving, Elder Abuse, Family Members,

A great way to help an aging loved one get rid of clutter is to help them control the amount of junk mail that floods their mailbox. Especially after the holidays and end-of-year solicitations, the pile could be hiding important bills or notices. Assisting with the mail also gives you an opportunity to look for signs that older loved ones — especially those who live alone — may need additional help or attention. Here are four things you can do to help your loved one get rid of junk mail.

Help Aging Loved Ones Eliminate Junk Mail

by Deborah Liss Fins, LICSW, CMC – Aging Life Care Association™ Member

 

Catalogs, holiday sales coupons, advertisements, appeal letters from every non-profit under the sun…This time of year, our mail is swamped with unsolicited enticements to spend money and hundreds of requests for donations before December 31.

For most, sorting the mail is a matter of tossing 95 percent into the circular file and saving only what’s relevant: invoices (if you still get them via snail mail), magazines and other publications, and the rare, precious personal letter.

But for older adults who are losing the ability to manage their personal affairs due to memory loss or other cognitive challenges, the onslaught of holiday mail only makes an already messy situation even messier. An individual with dementia may not want to throw anything away, for fear of missing something important. But the outcome can be just the opposite.

Somewhere under that stack of junk mail are invoices that need to be paid. A missed gas bill could mean the heat gets cut off. A missed phone bill could result in severed communications. Meanwhile, a small, well-intentioned donation to a non-profit spawns even more appeal letters, as the donor’s contact information goes into mailing list data bases.

More mail, more piles, more chances that the really important stuff gets lost.

Then there’s the problem of junk email. For anyone who spends time online, unwanted email can clutter up an inbox even faster than snail mail can pile up on the kitchen table.

Here are some tips to help you and your loved one take charge of junk mail—paper or electronic:

1) Place your loved one on “do not mail” lists.

Many retailers ask for zip codes at the check-out counter. These zip codes are the key to finding addresses and placing you or your loved on a mailing list. And not only for that store. Lists are rented to affiliated retailers for their own marketing. However, you don’t need to give a zip code to make a purchase. Train yourself, your aging loved one, and any other caregivers to say  “no thank you” or “pass” when asked for their zip code.

To get off these lists, register at these free services:

Used together, these online services will help to keep personal addresses off affiliate retailer’s lists. In addition, if your loved one has given her zip code to a store, you’ll need to contact that retailer directly and ask for her contact information to be removed from their list.

2) Set up a post office box for your loved one’s mail.

If your loved one is no longer capable of managing any decisions about mail, you can have it forwarded to a post office box. You collect the mail once or twice a week, toss the junk, and deliver what’s important.

3) Un-enroll from unwanted emails.

Streamline your loved one’s emails (Gmail, Outlook, Yahoo, AOL, iCloud) with a free app that organizes all newsletters and promotions into one daily digest. This service, Unroll.Me, also unsubscribes your loved one from spam and other nuisance emails.

4) Unsubscribe and block junk emails.

This is the most time-consuming effort, but worth it in the long run. Go through your loved one’s emails and unsubscribe, company by company. It usually takes at least a week to get a name and contact information off an email list. Pair this with filters that block domain names from companies that send a lot of junk email.

By taking these steps, you are not only getting rid of junk mail and clutter, but also helping protect your loved one from possible fraud or exploitation.

About the author:  Deborah Liss Fins has over 35 years of experience in aging life care issues. She is the President of Deborah Fins Associates, PC in Worcester, MA.  Debbie is a member of the Board of Directors of the Aging Life Care Association™  and co-chair of the Education Committee.  Follow her on LinkedIn and Twitter @DeborahFinsALCM or email her at DLFins@finseldercare.com.  Deborah Fins Associates has a presence on Facebook – we invite you to like our page.

image source: Wikipedia

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

Summer 2016 Issue of Journal of Aging Life Care

Resilience & Successful Aging: A Look at the New Journal of Aging Life Care™

Aging in Place, Aging Life Care Professionals, Aging Well, Care Managers, Geriatricians, Journal of Aging Life Care,

Latest Issue of the Journal of Aging Life Care™ Looks at Resilience  in the Elderly and its Role in Successful Aging. In this issue are 12 articles that put meat on the term “successful aging” and provide direction for Aging Life Care Professionals™ / care managers. 

 

by Jennifer E. Voorlas MSG, CMC – Aging Life Care Association™ Member and Editor in Chief of the Journal of Aging Life Care

The capacity to recover quickly from difficulty; fortitude, perseverance, buoyancy.

It is inevitable that life presents us with difficulties which require our attention and challenge our ability to manage our day to day lives. Unarguably, possessing strength and perseverance helps differentiate an individual who is able to cope with overcoming adversity and create a positive life, with one who has limited coping skills, just barely able to stay afloat when faced with the unknown currents of life.

In this issue are 12 articles that put meat on the term “successful aging” and provide direction for Aging Life Care Professionals™ / care managers so that they can play a well-planned and active role in helping clients embrace life’s challenges with hope and a renewed vision, transforming difficult situations to ones which use the client’s own strengths to achieve a positive outcome.

This edition explores in depth resilience from many unique perspectives, disciplines, and modalities which we hope will provide Aging Life Care Managers with a deeper understanding of how they can help their clients cope with the inevitable losses associated with the aging process.

We begin this issue with Dr. Coral Hoare who provides a detailed overview of the history and definition of resilience, successful aging research, and psychosocial resilience in the elderly. She then identifies three types of interventions that have proved to be successful: mindfulness meditation, cognitive reframing, and mastery development.

Dr. Claire Donnellan’s article on the Baltes’ model of successful aging provides a deep dive into a method of mastery development known as the SOC model, used in some health care venues but not widely known. SOC stands for Selection, Optimization, and Compensation, a theoretical approach that is very similar to the practice methods care managers already utilize: identifying goal-oriented interventions, focusing on person-centered approaches, and using a common language to agree on goal setting and methods to accomplish these goals.

Journal of Aging Life Care™
http://www.aginglifecarejournal.org

Rosemary Decuir’s study is a personal reflection of how she got her own father to compensate for a significant loss in his life by utilizing core components of the SOC model in the creative process while helping to bring two families together. This piece exemplifies how lessons learned in our own family can help us be more effective with our clients.

In “Meaningful, Enjoyable, and Do-Able: Optimizing Older Adults’ Activity Engagement at Home,” Susan Hutchinson and Grace Warner demonstrate how SOC and Needs Driven Dementia Compromised Behavior (NDB) can be used to help care managers develop in-home leisure activities to engage older adults to improve on quality of life measures.

Paula Davis Laack speaks directly to Aging Life Care Professionals / care managers to help them build up their own resiliency so that they can cope with the inevitable stress and challenges of managing their practice and ultimately be more present for our clients.

Lucia McBee asks in her article “What Do We Feed?” She provides a deep and thoughtful analysis on how mindfulness meditation can provide care managers with an approach to health that teaches coping skills for both physical and emotional challenges.

Drs. Suma Chand and George Grossberg have written a thorough review of the literature of how behavioral and psychological symptoms of dementia challenge those who provide care to people with dementia. They suggest that the care managers who are aware of behavioral (as opposed to medication) management of difficult behavior, can be more useful to both family and facility caregivers.

Susan McFadden and Anne Basting briefly describe their 15 years of collaboration to develop a creative engagement approach to dealing with difficult behavior in people with dementia. TimeSlips Creative Storytelling is the product of this collaboration but the article includes information about many other programs that have used creative engagement including improvisation, dance, music, poetry and song writing which care managers can access.

Depicting how creative engagement works in the field, Laurie Bachner provides us with a brief description of how she has used yoga, music, and movement exercises to provide an individualized program for the clients of the care manager Helene Bergman in New York City.

Dr. Boffrey and Jennifer Pilcher Warren describe how their approach, Success Counseling, provides a method for care managers to focus on a client’s ability to evaluate themselves, and therefore improve their ability to independently solve their own problems, increasing their self-confidence and sense of personal control.

Dr. Frank Fee gives an overview of coaching as an approach to fostering resilience in older adults who are spousal caregivers – a population with whom care managers often work. He provides a case example showing how caregiver coaching can make a difference in the lives of caregivers and ultimately the loved ones they are caring for.

Finally, Phyllis Mensh Brostoff’s case study demonstrates how the skillful guidance of a care manager can help families recognize and better understand the resilience within their own family system, transforming what appears to be a negative situation into a sustainable outcome.

On behalf of the entire editorial board, we hope you enjoy this edition!

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

holidays with dementia

Holding On to Holiday Traditions

Aging Parents, Aging Well, Caregiving, Events, Family Members,

The holidays are a cherished time to gather with family and friends, but they can also be a source of stress as schedules are disrupted for social gatherings and decadent meals make it difficult to stick to healthy diets. While you may anticipate that your aging loved ones will need help managing all the hustle and bustle, they may want to continue participating in beloved holiday traditions and be reluctant to express that they’ve slowed down.

How to hold on to holiday traditions when Mom and Dad are slowing down

By Eileen Zenker, LCSW, CCM – Aging Life Care Association™ Member

 

Here are some ways to plan ahead so everyone can stay healthy and happy during the holidays:

Make your home accessible

If your loved one is visiting for the holidays, you can ensure your home is safe and accessible by doing a quick walk-through to look for tripping hazards such as area rugs and cords on the floor. Adding nightlights to the hallways can also help avoid falls.

Schedule relaxing activities after traveling

Whether your loved one is traveling across the country or just across town, keep in mind that they may need to rest upon arrival. Playing a board game, watching a holiday movie or looking at family photos together may be more suitable than a day of shopping, cooking, or visiting.

Be aware of dietary restrictions

It can be difficult not to over-indulge with unhealthy foods during holiday gatherings! If possible, plan ahead to make sure that your loved one has healthy options available so they can follow any diet recommendations their doctor has given them.

Be mindful of traditions

As the holidays approach, your loved one may worry that they will be unable to take part in cherished traditions. To prevent this, you can identify ways to modify activities so your loved one can still be a part of preparing a favorite meal or joining in a favorite game or activity.

Take breaks

From social events to last-minute shopping, the holiday season can mean busy days and late nights. If you are planning an all-day outing, build in some time for a nap or relaxation. Kids, seniors, and everyone in between will appreciate it!

About the author: Eileen Zenker, LCSW, CCM is a Strategic Clinical Consultant at SeniorBridge, a private pay home care and care management offering of Humana At Home. She has over 25 years of experience as a Licensed Social Worker, administrator, and healthcare planner, and holds a certificate in Bio-Ethics. Previously, Eileen served as Director of Social Work at NYU and as Assistant Director at Beth Israel Medical Center. Currently, she mentors students at NYU and Smith College.

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

 

Gift Ideas for the 80+ Adult

Aging Parents, Aging Well, Family Members,

The last few shopping days are here and you’ve found yourself stuck thinking about what to give that special elder in your life. Here are some different and thoughtful holiday gift ideas for seniors that won’t clutter the house or require  an  engineering degree to assemble. 

by Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC —Aging Life Care Association™ Member and Fellow of the Leadership Academy

 

Many older adults say they really don’t need anything, but you feel you should give them a gift. What should it be?   Mom and Dad have the sweater you gave them last Christmas still hanging in the closet with the tags on —they say they want to save it for a special occasion.

Here are some ideas that are just a little bit different:

1. Pre-plant a large pot with spring blooming bulbs and help them place it where it will get the rain it needs now and the sun in the spring.

2. Buy tickets to an afternoon concert in a small, easy-to-access venue (a local college or church). Include a gift card for lunch at a favorite spot.

3. Make a scrapbook of pictures of you and your siblings as children over the years and add comments of “gratitude” on the pages about your memories of that day or event. What you remember might be different than what your parent remembered.

4. Give an iPod pre-programed with music from the time your parents were young adults. Include a good pair of headphones (not earbuds) and teach them how to use it.  This is also a great gift for those with dementia. If your loved one resides in a living facility or at home with caregivers, teach the caregivers and aides how to use the iPod and ask that they have music time once a day.

It is important to realize and understand that an aging adult’s inability to reciprocate gift giving often makes them feel “bad.” You being creative and sensitive to those seniors who express not wanting gifts shows respect, not lack of love.

About the author:  Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC, is the Founder and President of Eldercare Services in Walnut Creek, CA. She is also a partner of the VillagePlan. Linda is a Fellow of the Leadership Academy and a past-president of the Aging Life Care Association™. Linda has more than 30 years experience working as a Care Manager. You can reach her at linda@EldercareAnswers.com, or connect with her via social media: Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

gift ideas for aging adults

Holiday Giving Ideas for the Paid Caregiving Team

Care Recipients, Caregiving, Family Members, Long-Term Care, ,

If your loved one is being cared for by a paid individual or team of caregivers or aides — in a facility or home — you may want to recognize their work this holiday season. Here are some holiday giving ideas and insider tips from an Aging Life Care Professional™ to guide you.

by Suzanne Modigliani, LICSW, CMC – Aging Life Care Association™ Member and
Fellow of the Leadership Academy

 

At this time of year, I am asked by clients about gift giving ideas for the caregiving team. Families are very appreciative of the hard work done by caregivers. Obviously, there are no set rules and pocketbooks vary.

For aging adults being cared for at home, there is often a close bond between the care recipient and caregiver who provides such intimate care, particularly if the job is full-time. If the caregiver or aide is employed by a home-care agency, it is important to first check with agency administration for any gift-giving rules or guidelines. Some agencies set gift guidelines or ask that unusual gifts be reported so they are sure there has been on undue influence. For families who are feeling very generous, a week’s pay is a guideline. Other families have given gift cards from large stores where they know the aides might shop. That tends to be  a smaller amount. Workers are appreciative of these gifts, more than food or other gift items.

For families who are feeling very generous, a week’s pay is a guideline. Other families have given gift cards from large stores where they know the aides might shop. That tends to be  a smaller amount. Workers are appreciative of these gifts, more than food or other gift items.

The team of caregivers is so large at nursing homes, it is hard to know whom to honor. If you have a particular relationship with a primary aide, perhaps a gift card. On the other hand, there are so many people involved, that often a cookie tray, nuts, or similar food platter is left at the nurses’s station.

The same challenge is true in assisted living communities. There are many people working with your relative from the dining room staff to activities to direct care. So, similarly, a gift that can be shared seems most appropriate.

I am also asked about gifts after a loved one dies and how to recognize the very close relationship between the family and caregivers.  I have had clients leave money to caregivers in their wills or families make large gifts after death. There really should be no talk of this in advance of death. As one home care agency said to me, they did not want the workers operating on a “lottery” mentality. Again, the agency needs to be aware of any large gifts.

A few months ago a huge party was taking place at a nursing home I visit. The activities room was decorated to the max. There was cake, ice cream sundaes and floats, plus towers of any candy you could think of. It turns out it was a party for the entire staff of the large facility, given in memory of a resident who had just died. What a terrific idea!

About the author: Suzanne Modigliani, LICSW, CMC is an Aging Life Care™ specialist in Brookline, MA who works with families to find solutions to complicated elder care problems. She has been a leader in the Aging Life Care Association and quoted extensively in the media as seen on her website modiglianigeriatrics.com.

This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.