The holidays can often be a time filled with high expectations, requiring lots of energy and engagement in non-stop activities. For the individuals and families living with Alzheimer’s or other dementia, it can be challenging and a time of high anxiety. Festivities can agitate, confuse, and overstimulate persons living with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. Meanwhile, caregivers can feel anxious, frustrated, and lonely.
Tips to Help Someone with Dementia Enjoy the Holiday Season
By Lisa Mayfield, MA, LMHC, GMHS, CMC – Fellow of the Aging Life Care Association®
To minimize anxiety and encourage a happy holiday season for the entire family, a little advanced thought and planning can go a long way in ensuring everyone has a wonderful time. Remembering that the holidays, at their best, are a time for enjoying one another’s company and sharing gratitude for each other can make some advanced planning go a long way.
Feeling Comfortable
- Keeping rooms well-lit and bright is the best way to help those with low vision. To reduce the chance of falls, be mindful of lighting, inside and out, and clear pathways of potential tripping hazards.
- Offering and assigning a “buddy” to assist with navigating the house can also be helpful for guests with low vision, poor mobility, or cognitive change.
- Older adults appreciate a warm house. Encourage dressing in layers and be intentional about seating. Save the “hot seats” for those who prefer being cozy.
Making Conversation
- For those experiencing hearing challenges or memory changes, navigating multiple conversations can be tough. Strategically sitting older family members at the end of the table next to one or two family members who will be intentional about including them in conversations can often be the best way to ensure they feel engaged and included. Shouting across a room or even the dinner table, is rarely effective. More important than speaking loudly, is speaking clearly and sitting close.
- Don’t be shy about sharing stories and beginning conversation. Living with memory changes can make it difficult to initiate a conversation. It’s okay to take the lead with starting conversations.
- Focusing conversations on the present or sharing favorite memories is a great way to keep the conversation going.
- If an older family member has low vision or is living with memory loss, having family members introduce themselves can be helpful, “Hi Great Aunt Jane, it’s John. It’s so nice to see you.”
Taking it Easy
- Less is often more. Families sometimes over plan their time together, so schedule plenty of down time. The best memories are often made while simply catching up and taking time to be together. “Being” vs “doing” might be the best approach.
- If your planning on an evening gathering, encourage taking an afternoon nap. Later afternoons or early evening can be a time that someone living with memory changes become even more confused. Having an early dinner can help ensure aging family members are more engaged.
- Integrating family traditions with new family activities can be an effective way to bridge the generations.
- This is the time to be especially gentle and kind with yourself. This is also a great time to practice saying “No” and pace yourself.
For more ideas, consider engaging an Aging Life Care Professional® to be your guide for navigating the changes with aging family members. Aging Life Care Professionals are experts in aging well and can help your family successfully strategize solutions to challenges of aging. You can find an Aging Life Care Professional at aginglifecare.org.
By setting realistic expectations, involving others, maintaining a routine, and keeping activities and traditions to a select few, you can ensure yourself, your loved one, and family and friends a low stress, memorable, and successful holiday season.
About the Author: Lisa Mayfield is the founder and Principal of Aging Wisdom®, an Aging Life Care™ practice based in Seattle, WA. Trained and licensed as a Mental Health Counselor, Geriatric Mental Health Specialist, and a Certified Care Manager, Lisa brings over two decades of experience working with older adults and their families. She has been a member of the Aging Life Care Association since 2003.