Monthly Archives: February 2016

long-distance caregivers

Family Caregivers: the ‘Invisible Workforce’

A recent study by the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health calls family and unpaid caregivers the “invisible workforce” of the health care system. Released in the Feb. 15 JAMA Internal Medicine,  the study examined how caregivers’ involvement in older adults’ health care activities relates to caregiving responsibilities, supportive services use, and caregiving-related effects.

Aging Life Care Professionals™ Help You Avoid the Pitfalls of Caregiving

by Jullie Gray, MSW, LICSW, CMC — Aging Life Care Association™ Member and Fellow of the Leadership Academy

 

Unpaid family and friends who assist older people with disabilities by coordinating doctor appointments and managing medications are significantly more likely to experience emotional, physical, and financial difficulties than caregivers who don’t provide this type of support, the research finds.

Such caregivers are also three times more likely to be less productive at work due to distraction and/or fatigue, a phenomenon called “presenteeism,” as well as outright absenteeism. Researchers say this shows that there is a significant – and often unrecognized – cost borne by employers.

Aging Life Care Professionals have put together several resources for family caregivers to help avoid these pitfalls of caregiving identified in this study.

Caregiving is difficult and exhausting work. If you don’t take time to set limits on what you can do and when, and create balance in your life, you may begin to suffer from a condition called “burnout.” When it comes to caring for an aging loved one, some people cope better than others. But everyone’s flame is at risk for flickering out if they aren’t careful.

If you feel overwhelmed and unable to take another step forward you may be experiencing burnout. Take this quiz to find out if your flame is about to fizzle.

Are You Burned Out From Caregiving?
True, this describes my situation most of the time. False, this isn’t the case in my situation.
1. I feel emotionally drained because of my caregiving duties.
2. I’ve developed a negative attitude.
3. I feel stressed out more often than not.
4. I have more medical problems as a result of being a caregiver.
5. I feel more depressed and/or anxious than before I became a caregiver.
6. I’m not successful as a caregiver.
7. I have trouble sleeping at night.
8. I feel all alone—no one helps me.
9. I have trouble making time for myself and taking a break.
10. I feel trapped in my caregiver role.
11. I feel hopeless and as if there is no help for my situation.
12. I’ve become angry & frustrated and sometimes take my anger & frustration out on the person I care for.

The more items you answered “TRUE” to in the Burnout Quiz, the higher the likelihood that you are experiencing burnout! Even if you responded “TRUE” to just one question, you will benefit from additional help in your care-taking responsibilities.

To learn more about caregiver burnout and how to find the help you need to manage the stress, download this white paper from the Aging Life Care Association™.

More resources from the Aging Life Care Association

Six Hidden Costs to Caring for An Aging Parent: Caregiving for an aging loved one isn’t all doom and gloom. The rewards of caregiving are real, but so are the hidden costs.

 Is it OK to Lie to Your Aging Parent? From our earliest days we are taught never to lie, especially never to our mother or father. However, a survey of Aging Life Care™ experts reveals that telling a “fiblet” can actually be therapeutic when telling painful truths to aging parents with a cognitive impairment such as Alzheimer’s Disease.

Six Steps to Living Well While Caring for Aging Parents by Linda Fodrini-Johnson, MA, MFT, CMC : A reminder may be in order that equilibrium is the key to living well as we divide our time among the needs of our parents, children, partners, jobs, and ourselves. The pull to care, or over care, often knocks that balance of its feet. Download a copy of this eBook and discover six steps that will help bring balance back to your life as a caregiver.

Getting the Care You Need When You Live at Home by Phyllis Mensh Brostoff, CISW, CMC: This e-book covers some of the aspects of getting care when the time comes, how to get that help, and how your family can arrange for help when you might not be able to make some decisions for yourself. It shares stories to demonstrate and bring to life these issues.

An expert like an Aging Life Care Professional™ who has both compassion and years of experience can help you develop a workable self-care plan and find the support you need. Find your very own Aging Life Care™ expert at aginglifecare.org.

About the author: Jullie Gray has more than 30 years of experience in healthcare and aging. She is a Principal at Aging Wisdom in Seattle, WA. Jullie is the President of the National Academy of Certified Care Managers and a Past President of the Aging Life Care Association. Follow her on LinkedIn and Twitter @JullieGray, or email her at jgray@agingwisdom.com. Aging Wisdom has a presence on Facebook – we invite you to like our page.


This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

 

moving aging parents and selling the house

Tips for Moving Aging Parents

Whether your aging loved one comes to the decision themselves or if care needs make it a necessity,moving aging parents from their home is a difficult decision. An Aging Life Care Professional™ can help determine the best housing options and a professional move manager can help make the process easier.  

 

Moving Can Be a Difficult Transition for Seniors. Here’s How to Help Make It Easier.

by Marie LeBlanc, BS, MBA, – Aging Life Care Association™ Corporate Partner

 

If illness or an accident means that your parents need to leave their family home and move to assisted living, it can be a difficult transition. If one or the other isn’t ready to leave the home where they raised their children, it makes it especially stressful for family members.

It is important that family members present a united front in what needs to be done. Parents often are saddened and overwhelmed by the decision to sell their home. Leaving a home that they have lived in for many years can be tough for your parents. Getting that home ready for sale after being lived in for decades can be even tougher for you and your siblings.

Here are some tips for moving aging parents and selling your parents’ home that will help make the transition easier:

Talk to your parents. Take time to speak with your parents about what to expect when getting the home ready for sale, selling the home, and moving. This process can be overwhelming and making them feel a part of the process and arming them with information will ease some of their fears and allow the move to progresses.

Be patient. Moving is one of the most stressful life transitions for anyone. For seniors, it can be extremely emotional. There are many memories in a home where they may have raised a family and the home represents their independence, which they may not be ready to relinquish. Maintain a positive attitude about the move and provide constant reinforcement about what a good decision they are making.

Get help from an expert. Working with a realtor is key to making the process go smoothly. With your siblings and parents, make a list of what you are looking for in a realtor and then select one that meets your criteria. Realtors offer advice on selling for the right price, provide referrals for other services and give you and your parents a clear picture of what to expect during the selling process.

Declutter. Potential buyers want to be able to see themselves living in the house; that means you should remove personal items and clear out as much clutter as possible. Minimal furniture and décor make the rooms look more spacious. Help your parents prioritize what they want to take with them and what might be given to you and your siblings. Remaining items can be sold, given to charity, or disposed of. Consider using a professional service that works specifically with people who are moving to help declutter and stage their home for sale. A thorough cleaning and window washing will likely be needed as well.

Don’t try to do it alone. It is easy to become overwhelmed when preparing your parents’ home for sale while trying to live your life with all its responsibilities. Ask relatives and friends to help ease the load but be prepared to be realistic about what they can contribute in terms of time and talent. Every extra pair of hands will lessen the stress you feel. There are professional services you can call on to help as well — Aging Life Care Professionals, home stagers, housecleaning services, landscapers, contractors, senior move managers, and movers. Don’t try to do it alone.

For more information on Aging Life Care™ or to find an Aging Life Care Professional, visit aginglifecare.org.

About the author: Marie LeBlanc, BS, MBA, is the president and owner of Transitions Liquidation Services in Hyannis, MA, a move management and rightsizing company founded in 2002.  Transitions Liquidation Services has completed over 700 transitions and Marie is an active speaker on the topics of moving, rightsizing and hoarding.  Follow Marie on Facebook and LinkedIn.


This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

is it okay to lie to my parents with Alzheimer's

Is it OK to Lie to My Aging Parents?

From our earliest days we are taught never to lie, especially never to our mother or father. However, a survey of Aging Life Care™ experts reveals that telling a “fiblet” can actually be therapeutic when adult children are faced with telling painful truths to aging parents with a cognitive impairment such as Alzheimer’s disease.

 

Aging Life Care Professionals on the Use of “Fiblets”

Is it okay to lie to my aging parents?” is a common question adult children ask. In a recent white paper released by the Aging Life Care Association™, Aging Life Care Managers discuss this sensitive topic and the use of “fiblets.” The term “fiblet” was coined in by the 2000 World Alzheimer’s Congress as “necessary white lies to redirect loved ones or discourage them from detrimental behavior.”

Over 90 percent of Aging Life Care Professionals™ surveyed say they have used or recommended the strategy to relieve stress and anxiety and protect self-esteem of an elderly person. The situation cited most in the survey by experts as an appropriate and helpful use of a “fiblet” is when a senior is refusing clearly needed care or assistance at their home. For example, telling an aging parent with Alzheimer’s that a paid caregiver is coming to their home for their spouse’s benefit or for another concrete role can help them maintain pride and reduce anxiety.

Aging Life Care Professionals cite this situation as one of the most common and difficult faced by families. Aging Life Care Professionals help families and loved ones deal with some of the most sensitive and challenging issues when helping aging parents. The Aging Life Care Association conducted the survey of its members in April 2014.

The following were most often identified by Aging Life Care Professionals as situations when it can actually be therapeutic to tell a “fiblet” to your aging parent:

1. When they are refusing needed care/assistance at home. Telling them the caregiver is there for their spouse’s benefit or for another concrete role can help them maintain pride and reduce anxiety. (Identified by 83% of those surveyed.)When they can no longer safely drive and insist on doing so. Telling them their car is in the shop getting repaired can reduce confrontations. (68%)

2. When they can no longer safely drive and insist on doing so. Telling them their car is in the shop getting repaired can reduce confrontations. (68%)When knowing the cost of in-home care/help prevents them from accepting the needed service. (68%)

3. When knowing the cost of in-home care/help prevents them from accepting the needed service. (68%)

4. When telling them about family problems that they can’t solve (unemployment, financial upheaval, divorce, drug abuse, incarceration) will only cause worry and stress. (64%)

Americans are increasingly challenged by the need to communicate difficult information to aging family members with dementia. According to the National Institutes of Health, as many as 5 million of the 43 million Americans age 65 and older may have Alzheimer’s disease and another 1.8 million people have some other form of dementia. Among all people with dementia, many are believed to have a mixed type of dementia that can involve more than one of the disorders.

Download a copy the recent white paper released by ALCA
Download a copy the recent white paper released by ALCA

“A therapeutic ‘fiblet’ is just that – it is therapeutic because it calms and reassures, reduces anxiety and protects self-esteem,” says ALCA past-president Emily Saltz, MSW, LICSW, CMC.  “You would use a ‘fiblet’ only with parents who have a cognitive impairment such as Alzheimer’s disease,” Ms. Saltz adds.

As part of the survey, Aging Life Care Professionals were asked to provide comments about their experiences in recommending the use of a “fiblet”. A universal theme of the comments was that family members should navigate this clearly delicate area with help from a support group or from an experienced professional. Aging Life Care experts also stressed that one should only use a “fiblet” to protect and support a family member rather than for personal benefit or gain.

The following are among over 200 stories collected through the survey about Aging Life Care Professionals’ experiences using of a “fiblet” in the course of their practices:

“I’ve used therapeutic ‘fiblets’ in many instances but probably (most often) when the death of a loved one is beyond a person’s capacity to understand. For example, if a person is looking for a deceased loved one, I tell them that I haven’t seen that person today but when I do, I’ll tell them that the person is looking for them. This serves to validate their experience and provide reassurance that someone cares.”

“When an adult son was diagnosed with cancer, the decision was made to not inform his frail, memory-impaired nursing home bound father of the diagnosis. At the same time, the son increased his visits to his father during treatment as he had more free time available for visits. The son and father enjoyed more time together without stressing the father with a scary diagnosis.”

“A client wanted to see their mother who had passed away many years ago. Instead of telling her that her mother had died and causing her to grieve “again” we told her she was out and would return later. She accepted that and went on with her day.”

You can download a copy of “Is it OK to Lie to Your Aging Parents?” to share with family members or to discuss with a professional.  To find an Aging Life Care Professional near you, visit aginglifecare.org to search for an expert.


This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

traumatic brain injury

Traumatic Brain Injury and the Aging Adult

Traumatic brain injuries (TBI) affect not only professional athletes, but also many older adults as a result of a fall or auto accident, says a recent survey of Aging Life Care Professionals™. Advocacy on the client’s behalf is identified as the most needed strategy in helping families overcome the huge adjustments in daily life.

Traumatic Brain Injury Cases High in Older Population Too; Adjustment to “New Normal” Requires New Strategies

Ongoing news of the ravages of traumatic brain injury (TBI) among former NFL players prompted the Aging Life Care Association™ (ALCA) to conduct a survey that takes a closer look at cases of TBI being managed by Aging Life Care Professionals. The survey of aging experts released last week illustrates the prevalence and causes of TBI among the aging population and identifies the challenges associated with their care.

During the week before the Super Bowl (Feb 3-6, 2016), 63% of surveyed Aging Life Care Professionals™ said their caseloads included individuals with TBI. Although Aging Life Care™ experts typically care for aging adults, the survey revealed that at least one provides services for a nine-year-old child. The majority of cases (96%) included adults in the 41-80 age range. The overwhelming cause of these injuries was falls (52%) and auto accidents (51%). Other causes included other accidental blunt trauma (28%), sports-related injury (8%), and violence (7%).top reasons of TBI

The strategies for treatment most in demand from clients, according to the 266 participating in the survey included:

  • Advocacy
  • stress relief for family
  • therapy/support

Ranked closely behind:

  • assistance with placement (i.e. nursing home, assisted living, memory care)
  • communications
  • stress relief for families
  • financial planning
  • managing the relationship role changes

Aging Life Care Professionals also collaborate with other professionals in caring for TBI clients, primarily physicians and physical, occupational, or speech therapists. Also consulted were neuropsychologists, attorneys, caregiver agencies, and mental health providers.

“Those over age 65 when TBI occurs are often automatically branded with a diagnosis of dementia and the TBI diagnosis seems to fall off the client’s medical record and they cease to receive care appropriate for TBI.” – survey respondent

The biggest challenge for families whose loved one has suffered a TBI was overwhelmingly identified as issues relating to behavior changes and accepting the “new person,” a “new personality, a “new normal.” One respondent identified it as, “The loss of role of the person who used to be more capable … and the strain of the ongoing demise of the person.”

This type of loss has been called an “ambiguous loss” (a term coined by family therapist and author Pauline Boss). It means “having the person’s physical presence but psychological absence. The person is there, but emotionally or cognitively missing.”

Aging Life Care Professionals know the local resources and specialists that can help TBI patients find a ‘new normal’,” says Dianne McGraw, President of Aging Life Care Association. “From coordinating services to offering caregiving coaching, we give families the tools they need to live an optimal life.”

To find an Aging Life Care manager experienced in working with TBI patients, visit aginglifecare.org.


This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

Aging in Place

Aging In Place? How to Plan for the Care You Need at Home

In this free eBook from the Aging Life Care Association™, you will learn how you can plan for and get the care you need at home. Planning for the Care You Need at Home also shows you how to work with your family to ensure your choices and wishes are supported.

Planning for the Care You Need at Home – a free eBook from the Aging Life Care Association™

by Phyllis Mensh Brostoff, CISW, CMC – Aging Life Care Association Member and Fellow of the Leadership Academy

 

Making Decisions Can Be Challenging

Most of us want to maintain the freedom to make decisions for ourselves. So when circumstances require new and possibly unwanted changes in our lives, we can feel unsure or unprepared on how to respond. You might resist suggestions on how to handle these  hanges, which might include health challenges, your daily routine, or activities that you consider part of your normal day, such as driving your car.

You may find it helpful when family members help you research issues, find resources, and support your decision-making. However, as issues become more and more complex, they can be overwhelming or beyond the expertise of friends and family.

When you are facing complex problems related to aging and health issues and need multiple services at home or referrals, professional assistance can be a lifesaver.

Using real-life stories, this eBook is designed to help support you in making the decisions that are right for you.

Aging in Place

Contrary to what many believe, most people live and die in their own home. Here are some interesting statistics:

  • The percent of older people 85+ years living in nursing homes has actually decreased
    Aging in Place
    Download your copy today.

    by half from 1998 (19.8%) to 2013 (10%).Overall, the percent of all individuals 65+ living in nursing homes has

  • Overall, the percent of all individuals 65+ living in nursing homes has
    decreased from 4.2% in 1998 to 3.5% in 2013. This is due to the increase in alternative forms of housing that provide some supportive services, but not the entire range of services provided in nursing homes.
  • The majority of men (71%) over 65 live with a spouse while only 45% of women over 65 live with a spouse. These figures have not changed dramatically since 1998 when 73%  of men lived with a spouse and only 41% of women did.

Download your free copy of Planning for the Care You Need at Home and learn more about:

  • How to Access Services
  • Non-Medical and Medical Home Care
  • Home Delivered Meals
  • Technology to Help You at Home
  • End of Life Care
  • Decision Making
  • Working with an Aging Life Care Professional™

About the author:  Phyllis Mensh Brostoff, CISW, CMC, is a social worker and co-founder of Stowell Associates – a care management and home care company in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She has written numerous articles and presented seminars across the country.  More information is available at www.caremanagedhomecare.com.  Follow Phyllis on TwitterFacebook, or email her at phyllisb@caremanagedhomecare.com.  


This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

 

Overcoming the fear and anxiety of getting old with the help of an Aging Life Care Professional

How to Overcome the Fear and Anxiety of Getting Old

Fear? Anxiety? These words identify the feelings a lot of people have when they think about getting old. Oddly enough, “getting old” is not an easily defined status. As each year goes by, you actually don’t think of yourself as “old.” Take it from me, I turned 70 just a few months ago!

By Phyllis Mensh Brostoff, CISW, CMC – Aging Life Care Association™ Member and Fellow of the Leadership Academy

 

What is it that actually causes this fear and anxiety of getting old? Is it…
  • Not having enough money
  • Not having a life partner still alive
  • Not having good health
  • Not living in your own home
  • Not having family close by and able to help if needed
  • Not being able to do the things you have always done
  • Not being able to drive, shop, and cook
  • Not being able to see or hear well enough to easily read and converse

What can be done about these “nots”? Actually, a good Aging Life Care Professional™ can and does have solutions that will help alleviate fear and anxiety of getting old. Here are just a few ways an Aging Life Care Professionals can help you prepare for aging with peace of mind:

  • Money can be spent, prudently, finding the most cost-effective way to provide the care needed
  • The loss of intimate relations may be hard to replace, but alternative social opportunities can be arranged
  • Better health can be achieved by getting a complete diagnosis of any illness, good management of medication, good nutrition, and exercise
  • Home can be any place with some effort and imagination
  • Family can be coached to do all they can, taking into consideration their own needs
  • Finding meaningful activities can make life more fulfilling
  • Driving, shopping, and cooking can all be managed with the help of others
  • Listening to audio books and finding a way to improve hearing can make a significant difference

Don’t waste any more time worrying about “getting old”. Connect with an Aging Life Care Professional in your community and build a plan that gives you the highest quality of life and the best Aging Life Care™ possible.

About the author:  Phyllis Mensh Brostoff, CISW, CMC, is a social worker and co-founder of Stowell Associates – a care management and home care company in Milwaukee, Wisconsin She has written numerous articles and presented seminars across the country.  More information is available at www.caremanagedhomecare.com.  Follow Phyllis on TwitterFacebook, or email her at phyllisb@caremanagedhomecare.com.  


This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.

My parent is dying

Coping With Grief and Loss

Though we all know death and the loss of loved ones is a reality of getting older, it doesn’t mean that it gets any easier for those grieving a loss. Individuals will cope with grief and loss in different ways and in different timeframes. Offering support during these difficult life changes can help your loved one find their way through the grieving process. Here are ten ways you can help. 

Ten Ways to Help a Loved One Cope with Grief and Loss

by Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA – Aging Life Care Association™ Member

Q: My mother had a big change last year. She became a widow and her father passed away within six months of each other. Both were unexpected. Now, she lives with our family. While she has her own living space, I still want her to get back to her life. What are some ways we can help her adapt to her new normal and get on with her life as a single person again?

A. The loss of a spouse, parent, or loved one is never easy, but having both happen in a short time period can be especially challenging. She needs to go through the grieving process while learning to live her life as a single person. Typically after a loss, it is important that the person has time to grieve and not make any significant decisions or changes right away. She has to find her new normal and refocus time and energy on herself.

A good starting place is to determine what her support network is. This may be family, friends, church, and sometimes social groups she is affiliated with. All of these connections will provide a resource for her. It may be someone to talk to, an ear to listen, or opportunities to reconnect with people. You mentioned that she is residing with your family, so it will be important to have some boundaries in place and for everyone in the house to know what those are. You also have an opportunity to monitor for signs that she may be having trouble adjusting or dealing with losses she has experienced. If you have concerns, it may be appropriate to encourage her to speak to a counselor who specializes in grief counseling. As she goes through this process, here are a few things that might help her get back to her life:

1. Create a journal. Write down things of interest, past hobbies and activities. Look for opportunities to reconnect to those activities.

2. Make a list of her support network. Identify people she is comfortable being around during this transition.

3. Update the address book. Get current contact information for other family members and friends.Talk about her short- and long-term goals. A short-term goal might be to get back to an old routine. A long-term goal might be to plan a trip with one of her friends.

4. Talk about her short- and long-term goals. A short-term goal might be to get back to an old routine. A long-term goal might be to plan a trip with one of her friends.

5. Create a calendar of community events and activities that might be of interest. Talk about it weekly and offer to go with her to some of them, until she is comfortable going alone.

6. Consider joining a grief support group. A support group provides an outlet to talk about how she is feeling and to connect to others who may have a similar experience.

7. Create a bucket list. List new things she would like to experience in her life.

8. Explore courses offered through local community colleges or recreation centers. These are often low-cost opportunities for learning.

9. Encourage exercise and a healthy lifestyle. If we feel better on the inside, we are more likely to want to participate in things on the outside.

10. Let her know that it is OK to grieve. Provide encouragement and opportunity, but do not push her to do things too quickly.

Each person experiences loss differently. She has lost a spouse, a father, the home where she lived, her routine, a familiar environment, and her sense of connection to a partner to share life experiences. Encourage her by providing support and opportunities to build this next chapter of her life.

Aging Life Care Professionals™ can help you find the right support services and resources for grief support. Find an expert to work with by visiting aginglifecare.org.

About the author:  Amy Natt, MS, CMC, CSA is the CEO of Aging Outreach Services in Southern Pines, North Carolina. Amy also serves as the President of the Southeast Chapter of the Aging Life Care Association. She can be reached at amyn@agingoutreachservices.com.


This blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute, nor is it intended to be a substitute for, professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Information on this blog does not necessarily reflect official positions of the Aging Life Care Association™ and is provided “as is” without warranty. Always consult with a qualified professional with any particular questions you may have regarding your or a family member’s needs.